Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
