Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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