You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
