HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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