I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Buhtt sex?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
