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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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