The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
