zippers are such a cool invention
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
