i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize