loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I sprained my soul last night
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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