Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
