im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
