got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
