I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
