Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
