You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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