Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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