You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
