check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So much rum. So many feels.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
