i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
