That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
