with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Randomize
