"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
