New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
