my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize