with your own penis?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
