He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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