while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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