He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
