You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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