my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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