My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
