Im at strip club and am horny
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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