OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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