What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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