dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
