I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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