K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
