Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize