Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
