You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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