I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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