I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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