If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
