Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
