I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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