Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm passing your future prison.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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