Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
