I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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