I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
