I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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