she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
