Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
