i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize