Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
