dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
