Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize