Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
