remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
