How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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