Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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