After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
not ubering you a puppy
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
