She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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