I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
