so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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